Mass Effect Playa The Pregnant Saga
by Super-Saiyan-3-Vegeta
Summary: Shepard now has Five Pregnant women to deal with... his life just couldn't get any worse right?    Sequel to Mass Effect Playa!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I may reference belong to their rightful owners.**

**A/N: This is a sequel so If you want to know the full story make sure you read 'Mass Effect Playa' which is the original. Enjoy everyone :D**

********1 week since confirmation of pregnancies******

Shepard sat in the Councils private deliberation room along with five other women who he had along with himself caused this whole situation.

Anderson sat across from them along with the rest of the counselor's. He was rubbing his head trying to figure this out.

"Let me get this Straight... You accidentally ingested some unknown and highly experimental Krogan hormone drug and now you've got these five women pregnant." he said gesturing to said women.

"Well.. um... Yeah." Shepard said rubbing the back of his neck.

All four counselor's regarded him with various stares.

Anderson was about to respond when Chakwas and Mordin walked into the chambers.

"I have the information for you counselor's proving that it Is true they are pregnant." Chakwas said.

"Ok I can understand the three Human and the Asari getting pregnant.. But how can the Quarian... they're DNA is totally incompatible." The Turian counselor said.

"Before maybe. But Krogan drug experimental. Various possible outcomes to Human and Quarian fertilization. This is one" Mordin said in his rapid fire way of talking.

"And just how do you know this?" The Asari counselor said.

"I created drug. Not meant to test on Humans. Works so far. Hope to have funding for it by years end for distributing on Krogan homeworld. Numbers should be up in a few years." Mordin answered.

The Counselor's eyes widened with horror at the thought of Krogan's breading like rabbits.

"Enough with this. Let's focus on the main man so to speak. What are you planning on doing now with 5 pregnant women?" Anderson asked.

"Um.. I'm really not sure. I was hoping to have my Spectre status reinstated so that I could start making come credits to support the children." Shepard said.

Before any could respond the Asari Counselor spoke up "I'm a little disturbed that you umm... what's the Human term 'Knocked' up an Asari Justicar. They abide our highest traditions and laws." She said.

"Either way were reinstating you Shepard. But that's not all. With your reinstatement you will Marry all five of these women." The Turian said.

"WHAT!" Shepard shouted.

"It's Counsel Policy." The Turian said.

"I've never heard of such a policy" Shepard said.

"It's there Section 234.. paragraph 9.. article 4" The Turian said again holding up a OSD pad.

"It says right here.. 'You Hit It You Quit It.. You Knock It Up You Lock It Up!" The Turian said holding up a Picture showing a married couple. "The Policy's quite clear" He said looking at Anderson.

"Are you sure?.. I've never heard of that kind of Policy" Anderson said.

"It's a new policy" The Turian replied.

"When did that happen?" Anderson asked.

"Just now." He said bringing up his omni-tool and sending it to Anderson.

"What am I looking at?" Anderson asked.

"Your looking at now sir" The turian replied.

"When does this happen?" Anderson asked.

"now.. everything that your looking at now happens now." The Turian said.

"Can I go back to then?" Anderson asked.

"You just missed it!" The Turian Exclaimed.

"When?" Anderson asked.

"Just now!" The Turian said.

Anderson grabbed his head and groaned.

"Whatever!" Anderson barked.

Shepard stood up and saluted the counselor. "Stop that! you don't have to do that anymore!" Anderson said rubbing his temples.

All four counselor's stood. "It is The Counsel's decision to full reinstate Commander Shepard to full Spectre Status and to provide funds for his large family. His wedding will take place in two weeks time. That is all. This counsel is dismissed." The Asari counselor said.

As the counselor's filed out Anderson handed Shepard a Credit Chit. "Looks like your going shopping." He said.

Shepard turned to see all five women staring at him.

"I have to get MARRIED! What The Fuck!" Jack screamed.

"It will be interesting being married to a human.. I shall enjoy doing my best to please you husband!" Samara said.

"Oh this Is so awesome! I can't wait to tell mom,dad, my sister..." Kelly rumbled on.

"Crap now I can't steal anything except naps" Kasumi said crossing her arms and pouting.

Finally Shepard's gaze landed on Tali.

"This... This is so amazing Shepard... I cannot wait for the baby to come.. I've got to go to the store now to buy 2 tons of yarn." She exclaimed.

"What do you need 2 tons of yarn for?" Shepard's asked.

"Well I've got to start to make little outfits for Shepard Jr. Well if its a boy that is." She said before heading towards the door.

Shepard grabbed his head and groaned. This was going to be a nightmare worse than the Collectors and Reapers combined.

**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this thanks for all the readers and reviewers. You all are great appreciated. **

**Oh yeah virtual cookie to anyone who got the reference with the little argument between Anderson and the Turian Counselor.**

**Thanks everyone**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I reference belong to their rightful owners.**

2 hours after Counsel meeting...

Shepard stood in front of the five women gathered outside the Normandy. Miranda and Mordin were standing at his side.

"Ok listen up. I'm giving each of you a credit chit that thanks so some funds from the Counsel and some of what was left from the Cerberus pay. You each have 20,000 credits in each of these chits." He said holding all five out in his palm to show the women.

"Also note that due to still unknown variants from Krogan drug you may experience unknown variables." Mordin said.

"Now I'm grouping you in pairs of two.. Try to be careful." He said handing them each a chit. Jack snatched hers as he handed it to her "Why the fuck do we have to team up?" She said.

He stared at her "So you can keep an eye on each other. In case of the unknown variables that Mordin spoke of." He said.

"If that's the case what will you be doing?" Jack eyed him suspiciously. 

"I have a few things to take care of." He replied not showing any emotion.

"Like what?" She asked again.

"Stuff." He said.

She stared at him and rolled her eyes. "What the fuck ever.. lets go girls!" She said turning.

Shepard turned to Miranda "You go with Jack.. make sure she doesn't kill anyone." He said.

The Operative nodded.

*************1 hour later.****************

Jack was strolling through the Citadel when she stopped and looked around. This caused Miranda to bump into her.

Jack whirled on the Cheerleader "If I wanted an ass exam I would've called Chakwas." She glared. Miranda simply ignored her.

Suddenly Jack's eyes lost focus and she started whipping her head around sniffing the air in a feral like manner.

"Jack... are you ok?" Miranda asked raising an eyebrow.

Suddenly Jack bolted down some stairs leaving a very surprised Miranda behind her.

Eventually she stopped as she saw her pray. It read "Ken's Ramen Noodle Stand!" In bright letters.

She smiled and ran over to the stand. The clerk looked up at her and was a little worried not just by all the ink she had on her body but by the crazed look in her eyes.

"Um... can I help you miss?" He asked uncertainly.

"I need 20 orders of Ramen NOW!" She shouted.

He jumped a little "But.. that will take some time to do and I..." He didn't get to finish as she hauled him up over the stand. "You'll have them ready in five minutes or I'll cut your balls off and sell them to a Krogan!" She said barring her teeth.

To terrified to speak he jumped back over the counter and started making Ramen furiously.

*****************Elsewhere Goldmon's Restaurant!**********

An off duty Human C-Sec detective sat at a table preparing to eat his lunch. He glanced at his OSD as he forked a few bits of food as he brought them to his mouth he turned and noticed his plate was gone. He stared curiously. "What the hell?"

He glanced around noticing that several patrons including a few Turians food was missing.

Everyone looked around confused.

Back behind the restaurant in an alleyway Kasumi decloaked and stood in front of a very nervous Tali who was fidgeting with her hands as she looked at the thief who carried a rather large sack on her back.

"I don't like the idea of this" Tali said.

"Relax.. no harm no foul.. They'll just make them more. Now come on we'll find somewhere to eat..then ITS BABY SHOPPIN!" She exclaimed throwing her hand in an arc for dramatic effect.

********************meanwhile*******************

Samara followed Kelly as she constantly plastered herself up against various windows to different shops.

For the first time in awhile Samara aggrivated. Kelly had not shut up since they left the Normandy.

She was starting to wonder whether she should kill the woman as she might do the galaxy a favor.

Suddenly Kelly squealed causing Samara's eye to twitch.

Kelly grabbed the elder Asari's arm and took off toward a cafe dragging Samara behind her.

Now that she thought about it she was strangely extremely hungry.

*************Jack****************

The clerk stared horrified as this strange woman threw down 20 orders of Ramen in no time.

She turned to him "MORE!" She said slamming a bowl down on the table.

"But I don't have anymore at the moment. I won't get my next shipment until later tonight!" He said frightened.

"I WANT MORE NOW!" She screamed.

He cried out terrified. He jumped over the counter and took off running.

Jack growled and turned back to the stand. 'I wonder If I can find something back there' her mind thought it over.

She climbed over the counter and started tearing threw various food stuffs that she could find and eating anything that looked edible.

*********sometime later******

She had been tearing through the food stuffs for awhile when she heard a click and turned to see 5 armed C-Sec detectives pointed the pistols at Jack who was covered head to toe in flour.

*****************Kasumi and Tali********

They sat perched on the edge of one of the walkways of the presidium. Kasumi was munching on some bread and every now and then she would toss small bits into the water.

"What are you throwing food in the water?" Tali asked curiously.

"To feed the fish!" Kasumi said looking at her.

"You do know there are no fish right?" Tali asked.

Kasumi was about to reply when she noticed 5 armed C-Sec detectives making their way towards them.

"This isn't good." Kasumi said.

*****************Samara and Kelly*************

The cafe lay deserted as everyone had cleared out when Samara and Kelly had lost it when their food was taking to long.

Both women having now terrified the clerks into giving them their food were busy stuffing their faces full.

"This is so good. I don't ever want to stop." Kelly said through bites.

Samara nodded to busy eating herself to talk.

Suddenly they were surrounded by 8 armed C-Sec officers.

Both Samara and Kelly looked at each other. "Um... can we take it to go?" Kelly asked gesturing to their food.

**A/N: Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter thanks :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I may reference belong to their rightful owners. **

"YES YES YES!" Shepard screamed before he jumped to his feet chucking the controller.

Garrus looked at his friend while holding the other game controller. "Are you ok?" He asked.

Shepard whirled on him "In your face In your Face Who's the man?" Shepard ranted over and over.

Garrus regarded Shepard as you would a mental patient. "Shepard um... should I get Chakwas?"

"I just popped a cap in your ass SON!" Shepard yelled throwing up his hands and making little pistols shooting towards the air.

Garrus reached for his com to call Chakwas when Jokers voice came over the Overhead "Um Commander... We've got a situation on the Citadel. Apparently they have all five women in custody."

Shepard caught unprepared by the news tripped and jammed his toe against the table. He cursed and hopped on one foot holding his sore toe as Garrus laughed at him.

******************C-SEC Interrogation Room***********

Shepard rubbed the bridge of his nose as he stared at the six women. He had found Miranda and made her sit with them. She was just as responsible since she was supposed to watch Jack and prevent just this kind of incident from happening.

He looked at each of the five women.

Jack was covered head to toe in floor. Miranda looked like someone on trial and about to be executed. Kasumi just stared at a wall unmoving. Tali was shaking and wringing her hands furiously. Kelly and Samara appeared to be covered in... he looked closer Pasta? And why was Kelly smiling? He'd have to think about that one for sure. Samara had her usual calm attitude going... though he was sure he saw some worry in her eyes.

"You've been off the Normandy for two hours TWO HOURS! And you cause utter chaos within that short time." He said looking at the women.

"Shepard we were hungry" Tali spoke up surprising the other women.

"There's being hungry than there's being insane!" He said.

Before anyone else could speak he started on each of the women.

"Jack... you traumatized a food clerk and thanks to you he's moving back to earth. He was heard screaming that crazy bald women are trying to kill him in the Citadel Mental Counselor's Center." He said looking at said woman.

She growled and was about to reply when Shepard focused his gaze on Miranda.

"And You... You were supposed to watch her. What The hell were you doing while she was causing all this?" He asked.

Miranda's mind shifted back to her shopping for Silk Undergarments after Jack had run off. He thoughts were interrupted as Shepard's gaze landed on Kelly

"I'm surprised Kelly.. I'm surprised at you and Samara.. Clearing out an entire food court? What were you thinking?" He shifted his focus to land on the remaining women in the room.

"I'm not surprised at you!" He said looking at Kasumi "But I'm extremely surprised at you Tali!" He said.

Tali lost it and started bawling her eyes out.

Shepard was caught off guard and even more surprised as one by one all the other women broke down crying. Miranda looked at the other women with an eyebrow raised.

"Listen girls?... Girls?..." He said trying to get their attention but they kept bawling.

He was about to make his way over to them when the door opened and in stepped "Ashley?"

All the women immediately stopped as Ashley Williams made her way into the room. She strolled right up to Shepard.

"I'm sorry about Horizon." She said and before he could reply she grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. Shepard was caught off guard and it showed on his face.

He heard a loud gasp and broke the kiss to look at the women.

All were staring with pure rage on their faces at Ashley even Miranda.

Ashley turned and looked at the women than back to Shepard "Um... did I miss something?" She asked.

Shepard saw all of them slowly getting to their feet "Ashley RUN!" He screamed shoving her towards the door as all six women jumped over the table and ran after Ashley leaving a very perplexed Shepard in their wake.

He keyed his com "Mordin... we need to talk?" He said.

**A/N: I have to say that while Ashley really isn't my favorite character. I just felt it would be more funny to have Ashley in this situation than Liara. Even though Liara is my favorite from the games along with Tali and Miranda. Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing. It's been an honor so far and an inspiration that so many are enjoying this story.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I reference belong to their rightful owners. **

**Thanks everyone :D**

Mordin walked beside Shepard as they made their way through the different corridors of the Citadel. He glanced behind him to see Grunt and Garrus following.

"So doc enlighten me as to these unknown variables." Shepard said without looking at the Salarian.

"Well... You've already seen some symptom's. There may be others such as irrational behavior. Violent Outbursts. Many other symptom's still imputing data... Check back later!" Was all Mordin said.

Shepard was about to ask him another question when something collided with him causing him to hit the ground hard. He looked up to see a very exhausted looking Ashley staring at him. "Skipper?" She said.

She got up and he got to his feet. "Jeez Skipper I barely made it out alive... what the hell was their problem anyway.. Why were they trying to kill me?" Ashley asked.

"Pregnant females tend to be territorial when it regards their mate!" Mordin quipped.

Shepard backhanded him in the head but it was to late as Ashley rounded on Shepard. "PLEASE... EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT HE JUST SAID!" She yelled.

Mordin got to his feet and looked at a very nervous Shepard "Um... I accidentally ingested some kind of Krogan Drug and before I was given a cure I kind of had sex with 6 women.. though only 5 got pregnant. So that's a plus right? Oh and I have to Marry five of said women... apparently its Citadel law now or something." He said with a small laugh.

Ashley screamed and punched Shepard in the head causing him to hit the ground hard. "What the fuck Shepard... I can understand 4 of the women but how the hell did you knock up your best friend Tali?.. she's not even compatible with your DNA" Ashley said staring down at Shepard who was busy holding his nose.

He pointed at Mordin "HE DID IT!"

Her gaze whirled to Mordin who started smiling nervously but before she could lash out at the frightened doctor Garrus popped in "Um... were are the women of the hour as you might say?"

Ashley stopped and shrugged her shoulders. "Oh Boy this isn't good" Shepard said.

"Hey Shepard she's a feisty one... Can I mate with her?" Grunt asked looking at Ashley whose face turned to horror.

*********************Kelly and Samara*************

They finally stopped out of breath. Somewhere along the line they all got separated from everyone else. .

"Damn that woman is fast!" Kelly exclaimed inhaling at the same time.

Samara nodded she was too old for this.

Kelly's stomach growled and Samara's soon followed.

"I'm hungry... moma's gotta eat" Kelly said "Agreed" Samara replied.

Kelly started searching her pockets but then she realized that C-Sec had confiscated their chits when they brought them in. "Damnit!" She cursed.

"It appears we do not have any money!" Samara said. "Duh!" Kelly replied.

"What shall we do for food?" Samara asked.

Kelly was about to reply when she noticed something. Suddenly her face turned into a huge grin.. "Samara... I've got our meal ticket!" She said.

Samara turned to look at what she was staring at and her eyes widened. 'she could not be serious'

Samara was staring at a gentleman's club. "Come on!" Kelly said grabbing the elder Asari's hand and proceeded to drag her to the door.

"What do you want us to do?" Samara asked. "Just follow my lead... I've got experience in this kind of thing" Kelly said.

*****************Jack***************

'When I catch that bitch I'll going to flay her alive. How dare she touch my mate!'

"What the fuck!" She said out loud causing several people passing by to give her worried looks.

She then noticed that everyone else was gone. "God Damnit Where the hell did everyone go?"

She growled and made her way through the crowds. Soon she came to an Alleyway and stepped into it. It was narrow as she made her way threw it. Soon she came to the end that opened into what looked like a small warehouse of some sort. They're were about 8 men standing in the center with a 9th person talking to them form a podium.

"Brothers.. We will crush the Eclipses and Blue Suns. We will..." He was cut off as Jack came into the room.

"What the hell is this?" She asked.

"We are the Black Suns!... We Will..." Jack cut him off again. "Your some kinda of small gang really.. And the Black Suns is all you could thank of for a name!" She asked.

"We are not small We have reserves for the weekends... it may only be 3 more people but still we are not small and I have you know the Black Suns sounds rather catchy!" he said smiling.

"So... your the leader?" She asked.

"Well yes why do you ask?" He replied.

She smiled and suddenly he was lifted up in the air. His subjects stood there terrified at the crazy bald woman. "You've officially resigned." She said before flinging him against a wall with her Biotic's.

She made her way over to the Podium and stepped up to it. "So anyone objects to your new lord and master?" She asked.

Everyone shook their head "Good... Were going to have some fun.. Jack's style!" She said smiling

'Shepard was going to kill her'.. 'god damnit why can't I get his ass out of my head'

Her subjects stared at her slightly puzzled.

She glared at them and they froze "First order of Business... I want 40 pizza's from the nearest Pizza place NOW!" She screamed everyone bolted in different directions some colliding and knocking themselves out.

Jack grabbed her head and groaned. "Idiots" She muttered.

*******************Kasumi and Tali***************

They came to a stop outside a building. They collapsed into a heap and sat there watching the people walk by giving them strange looks.

"I give up... besides running's not good for the baby!" Tali said rubbing her stomach.

Kasumi simply nodded. "Well We've got another issue" She said turning to Tali.

Tali looked at her "What do you mean?" She asked.

"Well C-Sec's got our chits. So we have no money and I'm hungry!" She exclaimed. Tali noticed the Thief shifting her feet a little. Now that Kasumi had said it she felt hungry too.

"So what are we going to do?" Tali asked. Kasumi sat in thought when she sat up quickly. "I've got an idea" She said looking up. Tali followed her gaze and gasped when she read the name of the store.

Fornax Publications. It read.

"Oh Keelah!" Tali exclaimed. "You can't be serious!"

"Oh come on we both have hoods... we both have figures to die for. You've got your hips and figure and so do I." Kasumi Said smiling. "Besides they have sterile rooms for Quarians!" She said.

Tali glanced at her than at the building. "Come on Tali... Shepard will never know that its you!" Kasumi urged again.

Kasumi watched her friend who was shaking visually finally she sighed "Tali it's ok.. I'll do it for both of us." She said getting up.

Tali grabbed her hand "No... I'll.. do it" she said.

Kasumi raised an eyebrow "Really?"

"Yes. Now come on before I change my mind!" Tali said grabbing Kasumi and heading into the building.

*******************Miranda*****************

Miranda stopped as the other five women passed her. Why the hell was she chasing Ashley... She shook her head and looked around. She was standing outside various shops. She was in some sleezy part of the wards. She came to a stop in front of a particular store.

"John's Adult Toys and Entertainment! Now casting looking for new model." She muttered reading the sign.

A smile crept across her face as she headed towards the door.

************Some time later*******************

After reassuring Ashley that Grunt was just joking which he had quickly replied that he wasn't causing Ashley to pull out her assault rifle he had to quickly defuse the situation.

They were now looking for five crazed pregnant women.

"So Ashley you still got that chip on your shoulder?" Garrus asked.

She looked over her shoulder at him "You still got that stick up your ass?" She replied with a smirk causing the Turian to chuckle.

"Eh... not quite." He said smiling.

Suddenly Shepard came to a sudden halt as eight mercs marched past carrying about 40 pizzas in a solid line.

As the mercs disappeared around the corner Garrus turned to Shepard "That's something you don't see everyday." The Turian said.

"Indeed" Shepard replied and they continued on their merry way.

Soon Shepard stopped again "What the HELL?" Shepard exclaimed causing everyone in the party to turn their heads to see what he was looking at.

Garrus burst out laughing as did Grunt while Ashley made a face as they saw a huge sign that said.

"Come see the Asari Justicar and the Amazing nimble Kelly. Come now for your viewing pleasure!" The sign repeated over and over.

They made their way into the club. They heard a voice come over the loud speaker as they took their seats at one of the tables. They saw a man walk out onto the stage.

"Ladies and Gents are you ready to be amazed by the Dazzling Kelly! And the Mysterious Justicar Samara... Let's give it up for Them!" He cried throwing his hand towards the stage.

Suddenly the lights went down and music started to pound the club as Kelly and Samara came on stage and started dancing.

Shepard was surprised no so much at Kelly but that Samara would agree to this.

Both were clad in skimpy outfits that just barely hid anything.

"Um... Shepard" He turned his head to look at Garrus. "Do you think you could... um.. ya know!" Shepard sighed and handed Garrus a chit and before Grunt could open his mouth he handed him one also.

"Come on Grunt.. I see a few Asari over there lets see if we can get ourselves a private dance" The Turian said grinning "Hell Yeah!" Grunt said and they disappeared into the club.

"Interesting... Have flexibility similar to Salarians." Mordin chimed in.

Shepard sighed and turned to Ashley. "So... you wanna give it a shot also?" He asked smirking.

She growled and he shut up and turned his head back to the stage.

He had thought saving the Galaxy would be an impossible task... now he believed that trying to take care of five pregnant, crazed, and just plain nuts women was probably going to be the death of him.. well his second death actually.

**A/N: Thanks everyone next chapter will be up soon thanks :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I may mention belong to their rightful owners.**

"So Shepard... what are your plans after you get Married!" Ashley said to the man as they made their way through the various corridors.

"Oh Please! What plans? He's going to blow a fuse with just two of these!" Garrus said gesturing to Kelly and Samara who they had wrangled away from the gentleman's club.

"Husband... I am sorry that I caused you inconvenience. I will try my best next time" Samara said hanging her head slightly.

"You haven't inconvenienced me Samara... I just.. I don't know" Shepard said turning back as he nearly collided with a Krogan.

"So where are we going next battle master?" Grunt asked.

"To find the rest of the looney's!" Shepard said.

"Um... Shepard... do you think we can stop on the way. I'm starving!" Kelly Whined. Samara's stomach soon joined her.

Grunt started laughing "This is gonna be fun"

********************************Jack********************

"So.. What's the first rule of the Queen?" Jack said sitting on her throne that she had her minions create.

"Don't fuck with the Queen!" They said in unison.

She smiled and continued to eat her slice of pizza.

"What's the 2nd rule?" She said in between bites.

"To keep the Queen fed." They said again.

"Good.. now I need a bed for my room." She said putting down her slice.

"But my Queen you already have a bed!" One Merc said and he was rewarded with being thrown into the wall by her Biotic's.

"What was that?" She said raising an eyebrow.

The Merc got to his feet "Well get you a new bed as soon as possible!" He said.

"That's better... now I need you all to find me Shepard... I've got a craving for something... something else!" She said touching her fingers to her lips.

She kept getting this overwhelming feeling of want towards Shepard.. Of hunger. She smiled.

*****************meanwhile********************

Shepard and the rest had stopped at a small cafe as Samara and Kelly tore through plate after plate of food.

Ashley had a very disgusted look on her face as she watched the pair eat with force. Grunt smiled at their speed of consumption. Garrus was just being Garrus as he was currently trying to pick up the Human woman that worked behind the counter.

"Come on... Just your number alright?" He said leaning against the counter with a smile on his face.

The woman looked curious but slightly frightened. "I... I..." She stuttered.

"You know what they say right? Once you go Turian you can't move for a week!" He said winking at her. Her eyes widened and she disappeared from view.

Grunt started laughing as Garrus made his way over with his head slightly hung.

"So... what now?" Garrus asked looking at Shepard.

"Well... believe it or not I think we've already found Tali and Kasumi!" He said pointing toward the corridor.

Garrus turned and sure enough there was Tali and Kasumi making their way for them.

Garrus sighed "Well at least we only got two more to find than."

As Tali and Kasumi made their way up Shepard noticed Tali wringing her hands furiously. And also he suit was decorated with Jewelry and scarves. Kasumi was similarly adorned. Both carried various shopping bags.

"So.. care to tell me what trouble you two have caused?" Shepard asked.

Tali stuttered something which Kasumi quickly answered "Just doing some shopping!" She said.

Tali nodded her head furiously. Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"So let me ask you this.. C-SEC has your chits.. so how did you get money to buy all this?" He said gesturing to their various merchandise.

Tali broke into stuttering as Kasumi stared at Shepard. Tali burst into hyper speech and was cut off as Garrus jumped to his feet.

"YES YES YES!" Garrus said jumping up and down.

"WHAT WHAT WHAT?" Shepard asked pulling out his pistol and looking around.

"The clerk at the counter.. she just sent her number to my Omni-Tool. Can I get a high five?" He said turning to Grunt who slapped his hand to the Turians.

Shepard shook his head.

Suddenly Kasumi clamped her lips over his "Kasumi... what are you doing!" He struggled to say.

She leaned back and he noticed that her eyes were glazed over. "Kasumi?" He said.

His eyes widened as she started to strip right then and there. He jumped up and grabbed her. "What the hell are you doing?" He asked.

"I... I... I need you... The feeling I got... I need you now!"She said.

He turned to see Tali shaking as well. "What the hell is going on?" He said aloud.

"Interesting... uh oh!" Mordin said. This whole time he had been quiet now he spoke up.

"What do you mean UH OH?" Shepard cried trying to stop Kasumi from pulling off her top.

Mordin gulped "Well it looks like they've shifted into another variable!"

"Damnit Grunt Garrus... Grab Kelly and Samara! I'll take Kasumi and Tali" He said turning to look at the Quarian. He could see she was struggling as she kept gripping her suit.

"I... I... don't know how much longer I can hold out Shepard!" She said.

"Alright everyone get back to the ship ASAP!" He said scooping up Kasumi and grabbing Tali's hand and bolting towards the docking bay.

*************sometime later**************

Shepard was sitting in his quarters and was trying to relax leaning back on his couch. They had locked all four women in their quarters. Mordin said he was unsure as to when their need so to speak would pass. Shepard felt his eyes close when suddenly the door opened.

He jumped to his feet.

"What do you people..." He stopped as Kasumi and Tali walked into the room "How... How did you get out?" He asked.

Both women launched themselves at him knocking him onto his back on the bed.

"This is your lucky day Shep!" Kasumi said pressing her lips to his. He pushed her back.

"Listen.. I know you both want to.. But your not thinking clearly right now!" He cried.

"Oh were thinking clearly!" Kelly said as She and Samara entered the room.

"Yes Husband.. I hope you can survive tonight's endurance!" Samara said turning to lock the door as Kelly started to pull off her clothes.

Shepard pushed Kasumi back again and crawled crab style backwards until he slammed his head against the bulkhead behind his bed. Suddenly his Omni-Tool beeped. 'thank heavens'

He opened it to only hear a recorded message from Mordin "Oh Shepard... forgot... found interesting thing about this variable... must warn you against proceeding with sexual interaction with the women... their heightened states will causing their bodies to endure hours upon hours of ummm sexual peek. So as to avoid the possibility of dying.. avoid them at all costs!" He said as the Omni-Tool flickered out.

He turned to see all four women standing at the foot of his bed. "Ladies... can't we just cuddle or something?" He pleaded.

They all smiled and then launched themselves at him as he squeaked in fear.

**********meanwhile on deck 4***********

"Are you sure it was wise to let them out of their rooms?" Garrus asked Zaeed.

"Yeah.. should be interesting to say the least." The Merc replied taking a sip of his extra large slushy.

"I'm curious about one thing?.." Garrus said.

Zaeeed turned to look at the Turian "And what is that?" He asked.

"Just how did you get camera's in the commanders quarters." Garrus replied.

The old Merc just smiled and turned back to the monitor as Grunt and Ken came in through the door.

"You gentlemen know the deal 100 creds up front" Zaeed said holding out his hand.

They grumbled as they handed over the creds.

"You know I was just thinking I think when I retire I'm going to open up my own Gentleman's club. Especially off the creds that I'm making from this." The old Merc said smiling.

**A/N: Sorry it took so long for this chapter to come out. Been working longer hours at work :(**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I may reference belong to their rightful owners. **

Joker sat in his chair with his head tilted back snoring loudly. He was having an awesome dream where he was the hero of the galaxy and scoring all the Alien ass while Shepard was the guy flying the ship. His dreams were interrupted when EDI woke him.

"Mr. Moreau... Your new video has arrived!" She said waking the pilot from his slumber.

"Thanks Toaster!" He said irritably.

"Your quite welcome Joker!" She said before signing off.

He sighed and opened up the vid on the nearest console. "Ah... The next installment of Females Of The Citadel!" He said to himself.

He smiled evilly as he clapped his hands together and began watching the various women in all sorts of compromising poses.

"WHAT THE?" He gasped as he hit the pause button.

It was Miranda... and she was doing some very strange acts involving a whip and chain and she was dressed in black spandex.

Suddenly he smiled "EDI.. record this part of the video and save it to my Omni-Tool." He said smiling.

"Very well Mr. Moreau... but may I ask why?" She said her avatar popping up.

He turned to her "Blackmail Baby!" He said laughing.

*************Med-Bay*************

Chakwas leaned back in her chair taking a sip of her brandy. She loved these long quiet nights. They were so peaceful when it wasn't a life or death situation.

She was brought out of her thoughts as she heard a few screams and loud gasps outside the Med-Bay. She moved to get up when the door opened.

There stood Shepard.

He barely had any clothes on save for a pair of nearly shredded boxers. He had a few fragments of a shirt left though she wasn't even sure if you could call it that. He had claw marks covering his body from head to toe. Though she noticed the majority of claw marks were three fingered. He was bleeding and slowly made his way in the room. She noticed he was walking slightly bow legged and winced with every step. He came to a stop a few feet from her.

"Shepard are you ok?" She asked with concern.

"Hola!" He said bumping his fist to his chest than throwing up the peace sign as he fell forward and smacked the floor knocking himself out cold.

*******************JACK*****************

Jack paced back and forth in front of her throne. She cast an angry glance at her followers who cowered back a step in terror at her furious look.

"What do you mean you can't find him?" She yelled.

"Your highness.. well keep looking don't worry!" One soldier said.

"You better... or else!" She said glowing brightly.

They cried in terror and turning scampering off to locate Commander Shepard.

Jack sat down in her throne and began to think 'when I get a hold of you Shepard..' A smile graced her face.

**********************Normandy***************

Mordin entered the Med-Bay and noticed Shepard sleeping on one of the beds.

"Can I help you Mordin?" Chakwas asked looking up a diagnostic terminal.

"Yes.. Came to check on Shepard.. Found something interesting... Shepard's females.. I can see the damage they caused." He said noticing all the claw marks on Shepard.

"Yes... but you said you found something?" She asked.

The Salarian turned back to her "Yes... Their mood will shift soon... and well..." He stuttered off.

She was getting annoyed "What is it Mordin?"

"Based on my tests they'll start to become extremely possessive of their mate.. so to speak.." He said.

"Well... Most pregnant females usually are protective over their mates." She said.

He nodded "Well aware of that.. but this is different. They will become violent if threatened by an outside female. So it would be wise to inform the other female crew members to avoid them at all costs."

She nodded "Very well!"

"One other thing... We may have to construct Shepard a room of sorts in the cargo bay." He said.

She raised an eyebrow "Why? He already has a room."

"Yes... but have you noticed none of his females have returned to their rooms." He said.

****************Shepard's Room*************

As Mordin and Chakwas entered his Quarters they quickly noticed the shape of the room.

The room was a wreck. Clothes were thrown everywhere at least the ones that weren't shredded.

Samara lay stretched out on the couch snoring loudly with a smile on her face.

Kelly lay curled up on his desk with her thumb stuck in her mouth as she slept.

Kasumi lay curled up at the foot of his bed sleeping peacefully with a smile on her face.

Tali lay spread eagle on his bed snoring loudly. Surprisingly she was still out of her suit.

Chakwas turned to Mordin "Your right.. were going to need a bigger room!" She exclaimed.

Suddenly they heard growling. They turned to see all four women growling and staring at her.

"Oh dear.. best if we leave now!" He said pushing the doctor back throw the door as the four women launched themselves at them.

**A/N: Thanks for all the support. Thanks :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music belong to their rightful owners. **

**Thanks everyone :D**

"Why do we have to do these stupid things for those stupid females!" Grunt growled towards Garrus.

The pair had been sent to pick up 2 tons of ice cream for Shepard's pregnant females and Grunt was promptly pissed off. He was a warrior not some delivery boy.

"Cause were Shepard's go to guys ya know!" Garrus said casting a glance at his fellow warrior.

Grunt just grunted and the pair took a sharp turn into an Alley.

"If I remember this is a short cut!" Garrus said walking a bit in front of Grunt.

Suddenly he heard Grunt grunt and he turned to see five 'blow darts?' stuck in the side of the Krogan's neck.

"What THE?" Grunt growled and whirled looking for the source as ten more darts flew out of the darkness and imbedded themselves into his body.

He staggered forward a few steps before falling on his face. Garrus turned to run only receive a dart to his ass.

"Not The ASS!" He cried as he fell forward out cold.

Out of the shadows several figures approached the two fallen warriors.

XXX

Miranda arrived back on the Normandy and was busy catching up on some reports in her office when there was a knock on her door.

She grunted "Come in!" before turning back to her terminal.

The door opened and she looked up to see "Joker? What do you want?" She asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I just thought I'd come by and see you" He said making his way into the room.

She frowned "I'm afraid I really don't have time to chat!" She said starting to get irritated.

"Fair enough... though I think you'll change your tune once you see what I've seen." He said smiling.

She leaned back in her chair and regarded the pilot "And what makes you say that?" She asked raising an eyebrow again.

He smiled and opened up his Omni-Tool. Her terminal blinked and she turned to it as the video appeared on the screen. Her face went pale at what she was seeing.

She turned to the pilot very pissed off now "What do you want?" She growled.

Joker Smiled.

XXX

Shepard slowly made his towards the cockpit of the ship. He had spent the last few days sleeping in the Med-Bay. He was still sore from that night. He gave an involuntary shudder at what had happened. Chakwas had suggested Ice Cream to calm the women down and he thought it was an excellent idea but probably wouldn't work.

As he got near he noticed something "EDI where's Joker?" He asked slightly puzzled. Joker never left his chair.

"Mr. Moreau is currently in Operative Lawson's bedroom!" The AI chimed.

His eyes widened in surprise "And where is Miranda?"

"Operative Lawson is currently straddling Mr. Moreau's waist. The two are currently engaged in..." "That's quite enough thanks EDI" He said shaking his head and heading for the elevator.

He really needed a drink. Thank god the Doc kept a few bottles around.

XXX

When Grunt opened his eyes he immediately noticed that he was hanging upside down beside Garrus.

"What the hell?" He roared.

Garrus mumbled something as Grunt looked around.

Suddenly he heard feet and turned to stare into the face of "Jack?... get me down from here woman!" He roared.

She smiled "Where's Shepard?" She asked walking around Grunt.

He growled.

"Fine... I'll just have to do this the hard way!" She said picking up a circular object.

"What are you going to do?" He growled.

She smiled evilly "Ever heard of Spray Paint?" She laughed.

**A/N: Really short chapter I know just wanted to go ahead and get this out there before I started my next routine of 50 hour work shifts lol take care everyone :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I may reference belong to their rightful owners.**

The Turian Councilor rubbed his head as he made his way into the living room of his apartment on the Citadel. It had been another long day and once again he had to listen to countless rants and accusations from just about every race in known space.

He grunted as he grabbed a bottle of Turian Brandy from the fridge and made his way to the counter. He started to pour himself a drink when he heard a noise.

He quickly pulled open a drawer in the counter revealing a pistol. He quickly loaded it and headed off towards the bedroom where he heard the noise.

As he came up to the door he heard muffling inside. His eye bones raised as he gently opened the door and stepped into a darkened room. He turned quickly and flicked the light switch while diving into cover.

"Give up and I may spare your lives!" He yelled from behind a dresser.

The only reply was a loud muffled yelling. He leaned his head above cover curious only to gasp.

There on the bed was Garrus chained to the bed spread eagle and totally nude with tape over his mouth. And for some odd reason he was painted red.

The councilor stepped out from behind the dresser and made his way over to his fellow man. He noticed an OSD lying next to the man's head.

He reached down to pick it up and Garrus started to struggle and yell against his bindings. The Councilor ignored him and tapped open the OSD. Only three words were written on it "LOOK BEHIND YOU!" He stared at it a moment before something dark came over his face and something struck him in the back of the head causing his world to go even darker.

XXX

The Asari Councilor sighed as she made her way into her apartment. Another long day another round of trying to stop the Turian and Human Councilor's from tearing each other Apart. Her Salarian counterpart never tried to intervene it was always her trying to make peace.

She needed a lot right now. She needed a shower.

She grabbed her sleep attire and headed for the showers. She walked in and waved her hand on the control panel by the door. The shower started automatically and quickly adjusted to her regular temperature setting.

She walked up to the door and slid it open only to gasp and jump back.

There sitting in a chair inside the shower was one of Shepard's crew. I believe his name was Grunt if she recalled. He was wrapped from head to toe in chain. Maybe a bit overkill but She guessed who ever did it went for overkill. And for some odd reason he was painted red.

"Sup!" Grunt said. She stared at him "Why are you chained up in my shower?" She asked.

He grunted "Why don't you ask the people behind you" He said.

She whirled around as something was jammed over her head. She struggled for a moment before she felt something collide with the back of her head.

XXX

The Salarian councilor walked into his room only to stop as he noticed a strange smell. He than noticed a man sitting in the middle of the room with ' a camp fire going?'

He wasn't sure why the alarms had not gone off yet but he yelled at the man "What are you doing? Are you mad?"

The man turned and the Salarian gulped. He was eating frog legs. The man stopped eating and spoke "I'm sorry friends of yours?" He asked.

The Salarian took a step back but grunted as something dark was thrust over his head. The last thing he remembered was a blow to the back of his head.

XXX

David Anderson kicked back in his chair and let out a sigh. "Another long day" He muttered to himself as he took a sip of his drink.

His door chimed and he said "come in!"

The door opened to reveal two very beautiful women. His eyebrows raised.

"Can I help you ladies?" He asked sitting up in his chair.

"No councilor but we can help you!" A dark haired one said running her hand over his chest.

"Yes indeed" The other a blond said.

"I'm sorry I'm not sure what you want" He said.

He went to move but the black haired one dropped to her knees in front of him. "Don't worry councilor everything will be ok." She said smiling.

He went to protest but something dark was jerked over his head. He tried struggling but then he felt something jam in his neck. He gasped as he was injected with a sedative.

XXX

Shepard kicked back in the Med-Bay with Chakwas laughing about old times and what not.

"Shepard you were always a good man" Chakwas said getting up and taking another sip.

"You were always a good woman" He said.

The two shared a laugh.

Chakwas stumbled over to one of the beds and fell face first out cold onto it.

Shepard shook his head. The Doc could never hold her liquor.

He stumbled out of the Med-Bay and made his way towards the Elevator.

He saw Miranda's door open and he turned to see Joker hobbling out clutching his side.

"What's wrong Joker? She too ruff for ya?" He asked chuckling.

"HA HA!" Joker said.

Shepard could have sworn he was mumbling something about 'the cheerleader breaking his hip bone'

Shepard stepped in the Elevator and hit the button. Only then did he remember that Joker would probably be suffering for awhile since Chakwas was out cold. Oh well Mordin would have to see to his injuries.

As the door opened onto the CIC Shepard's drunkenness had all but disappeared. 'thank you Cerberus implants'

As he stepped up to EDI's console at the bridge her blue orb popped to life.

"Shepard.. there is an Citadel wide emergency happening." She said.

"What is it Reapers! Collectors? No wait the Collectors are dead! What is it?" He pleaded.

Suddenly the vid screen opened to reveal Jack.

"What the hell!" Shepard exclaimed.

"Shepard this video is being broadcast to all vid screens through out the Citadel." EDI informed him.

"Greetings people of the Citadel. I want you all to know that I am your new Queen. You all will answer to me. I now control the Citadel. If you don't believe me take a look at this!" She said as the camera panned to reveal The Council tied up in a corner.

The camera panned back to Jack. "I'll make a deal with you Citadel. If Shepard is brought to me unharmed I will let the council go. But until then. Party 24-7 everyone." Jack said smiling as the camera winked out.

Shepard stood there staring in horror at what he just heard.

Finally he managed to speak "I'm Fucked!"

**A/N: Thank you everyone for reading and all your support.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**I Do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA.**

**Thanks everyone!**

"Shepard! I think we should get the Normandy out of here!" Joker yelled over the constant pounding that was outside the hull.

"And what good would that do?" Shepard asked while securing his suit.

"Just saying that it might be a good idea to let this calm down or something!" Joker yelled again.

"Please... you know how Jack is! She's crazy and now she's pregnant and crazy which makes it ten times worse." Shepard yelled back.

"Soooo... what's your plan then?" Joker asked.

"Simple. I'm going to sneak out the backdoor and use the ventilation ducts to get to Jack so I can stop this madness." Shepard said securing his helmet.

"I see... well good luck and hope you don't die dude" Joker said turning and hobbling towards the pilots chair.

"Thanks for your words of encouragement old pal!" Shepard said turning and heading towards the elevator.

As Joker sat down in the pilots chair he suddenly realized something "We have a backdoor?"

XXX

As Shepard slid into the ventilation shaft on the side of the C-SEC elevator he made his way downwards prying that he was making as little noise as possible.

He came across an opening and was about to pass it when he stopped and almost gagged at what he was seeing.

Inside was a Krogan Chained to a bed with an Asari stripper doing several disturbing things to him.

Shepard shook himself and continued down.

He hit the bottom of the shaft with a loud thud. After a groan or two he started to crawl.

He came across another opening and stopped and locked down.

Inside were about a dozen men with their heads shaved and their heads were painted red.

He listened close.

"Brothers Our Queen has given us an assignment! Let us not disappoint!" One of the men said.

"All Hail The Queen Of French Fries!" They said in unison.

Shepard shook his head and continued to crawl.

After what felt like an hour of crawling he came across another vent. The five million he passed in the last hour held nothing but continued nightmares for the next year it felt like.

Inside were two Salarian's talking.

"Really Pick? Why are you so interested in Human Bachelor parties all of a sudden?" One of the Salarians asked.

"Well my cousin on Illium said a Human and Turian Co-Worker of his threw him one for his mating contract." The other said.

"Why? Don't they know its not a full union but a merely..."

Shepard didn't bother to listen to anymore as he continued to crawl.

XXX

Meanwhile back on the Normandy...

Tali paced back and forth in Shepard's quarters at a frightening pace.

"Keelah! How long are they going to keep us locked up in here?" She said aloud.

"I'm really not sure.. I think it's for our own good though" Kelly said.

"Well I've got an idea!" Kasumi said getting up from the bed and walking over to EDI's pedestal.

"EDI! We all are quite hungry could you send someone with some food please!" Kasumi asked in a sweet voice.

"Very Well Miss Goto logging you out!" EDI chimmed.

Kasumi turned to the rest "Now here's the plan!"

They all gathered into a huddle.

XXX

Meanwhile...

Shepard noticed that the vent started to tilt at an angle.

Suddenly it started shaking and shifted.

He started to slide fast at an extreme speed.

The bottom was coming up quick and the only thing he could do was yell.

He hit the bottom and busted through the vent and went flying into open space.

People walking by below gazed up to see a Human go flying over their heads.

Shepard looked up from the startled crowd as the building he was approaching was getting larger.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SHIT!" He yelled as he hit the side of the building.

He crashed through the glass and hit the floor hard. He did a couple of flips and slammed against the wall hard.

He felt like he'd broke maybe every bone in his body.

"Well! You ask and you shall receive huh?" A female voice said.

Shepard opened his eyes to see Jack smiling down at him.

**A/N: Thanks for the support everyone. Sorry It took me so long to get this out but work and the holidays have been hectic. Thanks for all the support :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Mass Effect Or Any Of It's Characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any Music or Movies I may reference belong to their rightful owners.**

**Here we go!**

Chakwas sighed as the elevator stopped at the Commanders cabin. It was time for the girls checkups.

As the door opened she gasped in shock as she saw two crewmen tied up and gagged sitting on the floor in the middle of the room.

She quickly went over and removed the gags. "What happened?" She asked.

One of the crew members spoke "They've gotten out!"

Chakwas eyes raised in surprise "EDI! Where are they?" She asked looking at AI's pedestal.

After a moment EDI's avatar popped up "I'm afraid I cannot help you Dr. Chakwas"

"What! Why?" She asked surprised.

"Unable to comply!" The AI stated.

Chakwas sighed heavily.

XXX

"Where should we go looking first? Oh and Thanks for messing with EDI's systems!" Kelly said as the four women made their way through one of the many congested hallways. Ever since the announcement that Jack gave people were scrambling trying to get off the station and not many could blame them especially with a Psycho, Pregnant Ex-con aboard.

"I'm not sure. Let me hack into the network! Oh and it was no trouble at all." Tali said walking over to a terminal.

After a moment Tali spoke "This is bad... Jack has him"

"Let's go rescue him then!" Kelly said.

"Yes! Let us rescue our mate" Samara said agreeing with the red head.

"I agree! But.. First we must take care of something" Kasumi said pointing across the area from them.

They all turned to see an all you can eat Chinese restaurant.

XXX

"Jack Is there any particular reason that I'm strapped to a bed, no clothes on, and laying here?" Shepard growled.

She smiled "Oh yeah! I want you to be ready for me when I'm ready."

He looked at her like she had grown an extra head "What the hell does that mean?" He asked flabbergasted.

She smirked and walked around the bed before walking towards the window.

They were in a room high up in one of the towers. It was a good strategic spot she had picked out. Reason being it only had one entrance and exit. At least that's what she thought.

She climbed onto the bed and crawled towards Shepard "How bout a little fun?" She asks.

Shepard swallows 'this is going to be rough I can tell'

Suddenly there was a loud yell that caused both of them to jump. They turned towards the window to see a figure racing towards them on a "ZIPLINE?"

The figure crashed through the window and rolled to a stop before jumping to their feet.

"Have no fear for Garrus is here!" Garrus said planting his hands on his hips and holding his head up defiantly.

"How the hell did you get loose?" Jack asked with a growl.

Shepard stared at Garrus "Garrus! Why the hell are you wearing a Batman costume?"

"Well... you see.." He didn't get to finish as Jack sent a shockwave that sent him flying out the window.

"Jack! What the hell have you done?" She screamed.

She chuckled "Relax if he's Batman I'm sure he can fly."

Right at that moment there was a loud crash from some where down below. She winced and walked over to the window.

She looked down to see Garrus sitting up slightly and giving her the thumbs up. She looked around quickly and noticed a potted plant. She grabbed it and dropped it out the window.

As Garrus was getting up the pot smashed him on the head. He stood shakily for a moment before falling over out cold.

Jack smiled before turning back to Shepard "Now where were we!" She said stalking towards him.

XXX

Screams of terror were heard as people ran for their lives. Not because of Jack but because four pregnant, crazy females had taken over the Chinese restaurant and were busy clearing it out of all food.

After awhile Kelly sighed and slid down next to the counter while holding her full stomach.

"That was good!" She said letting a content smile show on her face.

"Yes! The meal was excellent!" Kasumi said joining her.

"I wonder. How do we find Shepard?" Tali asked sitting down also.

"I think that is our answer right there!" Kelly said pointing towards the a tower as they saw a Turian in a Batman outfit drop like a rock towards the ground.

"Yep! It's gotta be Shepard!" Kasumi said.

"So who wants to go now?" Tali asked.

"Give me awhile. I need a nap!" Kelly said tilting her head back.

"Your right. I'm sure he'll be fine" Kasumi said stretching out behind the counter.

"I agree as well" Samara said leaning back against the counter.

"Well... I guess he'll be alright for now" Tali said curling up on the counter.

Soon all four women were asleep as the screams than moans from the tower were heard.

**A/N: I'm glad so many people have enjoyed this story and Thank you for all your support. Till next chapter. Take care.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I may mention belong to their rightful owners. Thanks**

**Thanks everyone!**

As Kelly woke she was well aware of the chaos going on around here as the Citadel was in utter disarray. She looked over at Kasumi who was stirring.

"Let's go find where Garrus landed." Kelly said getting up.

"Why?" Tali groaned as she stretched feeling her back pop.

"Because. Where ever Shepard goes Garrus follows. Now come on!" Kelly said helping Samara to her feet.

The four women made their way towards where they had seen Garrus drop. They turned the corner and saw the Turian still unconscious laying on a pile of trash bags with a broke flower pot near his head.

Tali went up and slapped him on the side of the face.

"Garrus!" She yelled.

"..."

"Garrus!" She yelled again.

"..."

"GARRUS WAKE THE HELL UP!" She yelled again.

Garrus bolted upright and planted his hands on his hips staring at them.

The four women stared at the Turian. "Garrus. Why the hell do you have a Batman costume on?" Kasumi asked.

He looked a little shaken and Tali swore he turned more blue.

"Well you see it all started when Jack's men tied me naked to the counselor's bed. Then..." He started before being interrupted.

"Wait!... why the hell did they tie you naked to a bed?" Kelly asked.

"Jack's idea of a joke i'm guessing." He stated.

He paused for a moment before continuing his story. "So I managed to get free but couldn't find my clothes. So I went searching through this locker and this is the only thing I found."

Kelly tried to stifle a giggle but Garrus caught it "What's so funny?" He asked.

"Nothing...Batman" Kasumi said chuckling as well.

He shook his head "Whatever we have to save Shepard from Jack!" He declared throwing his cape over his shoulder causing the two women to burst into giggles again.

Finally their laughing subsided and they got a serious look on their faces.

"So what's the plan?" Tali asked.

"Easy! I take my trusty grappling hook here and throw it up to the window than we can climb up these 15 stories and then we jump Jack and Ta DA we've saved the day!" He said smiling.

All four women looked at him.

"Um.. yeah... you go ahead and do that we'll take the elevator." Kasumi said turning and heading towards the entrance of the building.

"What she said." Kelly stating following after Kasumi.

Garrus sighed as Tali and Samara went off after the other two women.

"If you want something done you got to do it yourself." He said launching his grappling hook up towards the window.

XXX

Jack stalked her pray as she kept circling the bed.

"Why the hell are you still walking in circles. Your making me dizzy!" Shepard said while groaning.

"Sorry I just like to be overly dramatic!" She said stopping and crawling onto the bed.

At the moment a grappling hook shot through the window and hooked onto the bed post.

Suddenly the bed jerked hard and slid towards the window.

"What the fuck is going on?" Jack yelled as the bed slid closer to the window.

"I have no idea at all" Shepard said sweat pouring down his face.

"Crap! Why did I have to request a bed with wheels" Jack cursed.

This wasn't good at all.

XXX

Garrus was frustrated to say the least. He had hooked something and was attempting to pull himself up but the all he kept pulling was more line down when suddenly he heard yelling up above.

He looked up and paled if that was possible as he saw the bed with Shepard and Jack on it flying straight towards him.

He turned and started to run as the bed hit the wall near the trash bags at an angle causing it to slid to the bottom and with the momentum fly across the area towards a fleeing Garrus.

Garrus yelped as the bed hit him and he was flung backwards and landed on the bed next to Shepard and Jack as the bed continued on it's way speeding through the crowds.

XXX

As the four women entered the lobby they hear screaming and ran outside only to see the most bizarre sight ever as a bed carrying Shepard, Jack, and the Batman Garrus went flying by causing people to run in terror in all directions.

Tali sighed and turned around back towards the door.

As the four women exited the building she turned to Kasumi.

"Is it me or are we always chasing Shepard?" She said.

**A/N: Thanks everyone. I hope to have the next chapter up soon. Thanks once again.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I reference belong to their rightful owners.**

**Thanks Everyone!**

The council made their way quickly across the wide open market area heading towards the nearest cab terminal. Thankfully Jack was true to her word at letting them go. Suddenly they heard screaming and turned to see Jack, Shepard, and a large bat creature apparently heading on what appeared to be a bed right at them.

They had no time to move as they were hit by the bed and flung into the air.

The Asari counselor screamed and closed her eyes as she fell when suddenly she was enveloped by strong arms.

She opened her eyes to stare at the mysterious bat creature "Hey... how you doin?" He asked casually.

Her eyes lit in wonder at her would be savior.

The Turian counselor went flying over the back of the bed. Unfortunately his pants leg got caught on the bottom of the bed as he hit the ground and he was promptly drug off screaming after the fleeing group.

The Salarian counselor having managed to dodge the chaos looked on in wonder.

XXX

"Kasumi! Are you sure this is legal?" Kelly badgered the thief.

Kasumi glanced back at the red headed woman "Of course not... that's what makes it the more fun" She winked and went back to hot wiring the transport.

Kelly turned to Samara and planted her hands on her hips "Your the resident Justicar here. Are you going to just let her steal the car?" Kelly asked.

Samara stared at her unmoving. "I cannot at this moment... for I feel the will to be with my mate tugs on my soul much stronger!" The Asari stated.

Kelly sighed irritably "I just don't think stealing a C-Sec patrol car is something we should add to the growling list of madness we've caused!"

Kasumi stood up as the Patrol car activated. She turned to Kelly "If you don't want to come with us than stay here!" The thief said getting into the car and the others following.

Kelly pouted once more before climbing in as well.

XXX

Jacob pulled up his chair next to the monitor alongside Joker, Ken, and Zaeed.

"Watch where your shuffling ya moron!" Zaeed grumbled as Jacob bumped into the monitor making it fuzz.

"Whatever man... you got the stuff?" Jacob asked raising an eyebrow.

"5,000 creds!" Zaeed mumbled not taking his eye away from the monitor.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Jacob exclaimed.

"5,000! no more... no less!" Zaeed said casting a glance Jacobs way.

Jacob sighed and handed Zaeed his chit over. Zaeed scanned it and smiled. He reached over and picked up a box and handed it to Jacob.

"What's in the box Jab?" Joker asked.

"Jacob growled at Joker's new found nickname for him.

"Cake!" Jacob said simply unwrapping the box.

"Cake..." Joker and Ken dead paned.

"Yep..strawberry... my favorite!" Jacob said pulling the giant cake out.

"Shut up fools... their nearing the wards district." Zaeed said taking a sip from his giant mug shaped like a gun.

They started taking their seats again when Ken turned to Zaeed. "So just what did you do to that bed anyway?" He asked.

Zaeed smiled "Let's just say I had some of my contacts sup it up so to speak. I wanted to get as much enjoyment out of this as I can."

Joker just shook his head. "I hope Shepard doesn't die from all this..." He said and then quickly added "Again!"

**A/N: Short chapter I know but I wanted to get out before I went on a 3 day break. Dead Space 2 is out and I've got a itchy finger for killin some necromorphs **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Space or any of its characters.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I may reference belong to their rightful owners.**

**Thanks everyone.**

Harold Thai was just your everyday person trying to make a living on the Citadel. He had been here for two years pushing his noodle cart around selling Ramen noodles to various species. Aliens loved it for a reason he couldn't fathom but he wasn't complaining... he was making a decent living.

He stopped to rest and drink some water and decided to rest when suddenly he heard screaming. He turned just as what appeared to be a speeding bed carrying several people that was dragging a turian who was screaming for his life crashed into his noodle stand. The last thing he remembered before he crashed into a bench was that he had just made a fresh batch and it was ruined.

…...

"UGH!" Jack cried "These things are disgusting." The biotic yelled as they sped away from the now destroyed noodle stand all of them were covered in noddles.

"Listen Jack! Could you please untie me already so we can stop this damn thing!" Shepard growled.

Jack stared at him for a few moments before she sighed heavily and untied him.

"Thank you!" He said getting to his feet.

"I've got a plan" He said.

He turned to find Garrus when his jaw dropped in shock. Garrus was full on making out hardcore with the Asari counselor.

"Garrus.." He started to say but Garrus held up a talon and Shepard rolled his eyes. "Ok! The Bat Turian!" He paused shaking his head "Do you still have a grappling hook?" He asked.

Garrus tossed him said grappling hook without even pausing in his make out session.

Shepard turned and after spotting what he was looking for tossed the grappling hook. It latched onto one of the little light posts that was dotted here and there. The bed was brought to a sudden halt tossing everyone forward and landing in a heap on the bed. Unfortunately the Turian counselor that they had been dragging was flung high and far over the bed before he collided with the wall making a very loud Smack sound.

Jack looked around as C-Sec officers swarmed around them and then she spoke "So... how long do you think well be in for?" The Biotic asked.

…**...**

All of them were gathered in the counsels chambers looking like they were going to be shot any second.

The Turian counselor who still had bits of ramen noodles hanging off of his clothes seethed with pure hatred and anger at Shepard.

"Shepard! Because of you this station has been thrown into utter chaos. Property has been destroyed... people run with terror at the sight of your pregnant biotic! And stop smiling!" He yelled as Jack's smile formed into a frown.

"I think for all our sakes you should be thrown out an airlock!" He seethed "Don't you agree counselors?" He asked turning to look at the other two.

The salarian counselor was looking over some data on his omni-tool while the asari counselor was sitting in Garrus lap and continuing their tongue tango dance.

"Counselor Tevos please!" He pleaded.

"Huh What?" She asked looking up at him "Oh yeah right" She said getting up and smoothing her dress.

"So the question is what shall we do with you?" She said eying Shepard "But I don't think we should toss you out an airlock" She said smiling as her hand slid to Garrus's shoulder.

The Turian counselor felt his left eye twitch "Than what do you propose counselor!" He said grinding his teeth.

She had taken her seat back in Garrus's lap and slid her arm around him again. "We confine him to his ship until his children are born" She said.

"What?" Shepard and the Turian counselor said at the same time.

The Asari counselor looked up "I'm pretty sure that all the chaos that these women have caused will go away once the children are born... Dr. Solus informed me of their symptoms and the severity of them. I do not think it is wise to reserve such harsh punishment simply because they had quite severe mood swings you might say" She said turning back to Garrus.

"I second that emotion!" The Salarian counselor said without looking up.

The Turian counselor seethed with anger but knew he was out voted and reluctantly nodded his head.

"Very Well! Commander Shepard you are hereby confined to your ship until the birth of your children and it is verified that you or more precisely them" He said nodding to the five women gathered around Shepard "Are able to function in society without causing destruction like they have caused on this station"

Shepard nodded and got up "Thank you counselors! I will do as you ask" He said turning to walk away.

As they started to file out the Turian counselor turned to see that Tevos was still tongue wrestling with Garrus "Counselor Please!"

**A/N: Thank you everyone! I'm working towards the end of this story now! In the next few chapters the babies will be born and well see what kind of Chaos well ensue! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I may reference belong to their rightful owners.**

"_This Is Shepard's log entry 201... It's been 9 month's since the incident on the Citadel and well The council actually granted shore leave for my wives. Apparently Kelly and Chakwas raised cain about pregnant women being cooped up and threatened legal action against them. So with their backs in the corner they agreed though I was told I had to stay confined to the ship. Jack was only able to go out under heavy guard. I've been spending as much time as I can with each of them. I had a temporary quarters built in the hanger cause the wives were complaining about the smallness of my cabin and how it wasn't suitable for a child to be born in. Now here I am entering my log and hoping that this is over quickly."_

He sighed as he closed the terminal and got up from his seat. He had came back to his cabin on deck 1 to try and get some kind of sleep away from the craziness that was his wives for awhile.

He had just closed his eyes when the alarm suddenly blared.

"Commander! We have a situation" EDI said as her avatar popped up on her small console.

"What's the situation?" Shepard asked.

"Your wives are about to give birth!" The AI stated.

"Which ones?" He asked feeling dread grip him.

"All of them!" EDI stated.

XXX

As soon as the elevator door opened he ran to the med-bay.

The door opened to reveal his five wives crying and screaming in pain.

"Shepard I swear I'm going to kill you when this is over.. I'm going to tear you limb from limb!" Jack cried out as another pain gripped her.

Shepard watched as Mordin and Chakwas as well as several assistants ran between the beds trying to help the pregnant women.

"Shepard... why is this happening to me!" Kelly cried in pain.

"I..." Shepard swallowed hard. He was a hardened soldier but in this situation he had no friggin idea as what he should do.

Shepard noticed a clean room had been set up in the back and inside was Tali. Chakwas had changed into a suit and was preparing to enter the small clean room to help Tali give birth.

"Goddess help me!" Samara cried out. Shepard glanced at the Justicar as her brow was furrowed in concentration and sweat poured down her face.

Suddenly he heard Kelly yell and one of the assistants say the baby was coming. He quickly ran over and grabbed her and immediately regretted it as she nearly broke his hand. He had to stop himself from crying out in pain as she grunted with all her effort. There was a sudden squishy sound followed by the sounds of a baby crying.

"Congratulations Commander! It's a girl" A tech said handing the baby to Kelly and Shepard briefly before taking the baby to get her cleaned up and ready for feeding.

Shepard leaned down and kissed Kelly on her sweat drenched head and she smiled up at him. Suddenly Mordin yelled for Shepard.

"Shepard! We've got another child coming!" He said as they moved over to Samara who with a few grunts but nothing compared to what the other women were enduring gave birth to baby Asari. Shepard walked over to stand beside Samara who looked up at him and nodded.

"Another incoming!" A red headed assistant said as they made their way over to Kasumi.

Kasumi cried in pain in between curses as she glared at Shepard. He on the other hand had no clue as to what she was saying since she was cursing in her native Japanese.

She suddenly grunted hard and the sound of another baby being born was heard as the assistant looked up and smiled at both of them. "It's a boy!" She said handing them the baby.

Kasumi relaxed and rested her head on her pillow as she stroked her baby's face with a finger before looking up at Shepard and smiling.

"Shepard another!" Mordin said racing to Jack.

Shepard ran over to the bed when suddenly Jack turned and promptly punched Shepard in the face causing him to go flying backwards and he hit the wall hard.

"That's for doing this to me you piece of Sh..." She was cut off as a huge pain shot through her and she started to grunt hard and curse even louder.

The sound of a baby cried was heard as Jack collapsed back onto her bed and weakly opened her eyes as Mordin held up the baby. "Congratulations Jack! It's a girl"

Jack smiled in genuine happiness which surprised everyone there even more so when tears started to fall from her eyes.

"What's wrong Jack?" Shepard asked as he had recovered and walked over to her bed.

She looked up at him with tears gleaming in her eyes. "I've had so much taken from me... It's nice that I actually able to have something this beautiful happen to me"

Shepard smiled and leaned down kissing the top of her head.

She looked up at him and smiled "Thanks Shepard... for everything!" She said glancing back down at the baby.

Chakwas sudden voice over the com broke their moment. "Mordin! I need to you suit up and scrub in now we've got a situation!" The doctor said turning back to Tali.

Shepard ran over to the clean room and pressed the small console next to the window as Mordin quickly suited up.

"What's wrong Doc!" He asked fear in his voice.

"Somethings wrong! Since our understanding of Quarian physiology is limited I'm not sure as to what I'm looking at but judging by Tali's reaction it can't be good.

He glanced up at Tali who without her suit took his breath away. He had only seen her once before but it had only been briefly. Her black hair cascaded down her back as her violet skin was glistening with sweat. Her bright green eyes narrowed in concentration. He noticed then that her eyes actually did give off glow effect to them. It must be something based on their physiology.

Mordin had joined them and Tali was grunting harder now.

She grunted hard and the sound of another baby was born. Chakwas held up the baby and both Doctor's looked bewildered. The child looked to be a mix of Quarian and Human. It had Human like features on its face, fingers, and toes... but its skin and hair matched that of a Quarian.

"It's a boy!" Chakwas said as she started to hand the baby to Tali who suddenly started to grunt again.

"This is what I called you in for Doctor!" Chakwas said to Mordin as the two prepared for what was about to happen.

Suddenly Tali grunted hard and fell back on the bed..

"TALI!" Shepard yelled but Mordin turned to him "She's fine Commander. She just passed out from over exertion.

Chakwas turned and Shepard's eyebrows raised as he stared at another child.

~TWINS!~

"This is what we were detecting commander! Like I said our knowledge of Quarian physiology is limited so we didn't know what else to expect." Chakwas said glancing at the baby.

"Congratulations Commander! It's a girl!" Mordin said walking over to the child.

"Thanks Doc's!" Shepard said as he turned.

He started to take a steep when the realization of everything suddenly hit him and he promptly passed out and hit the floor hard.

**A/N: Thanks everyone for all your support and I'm going to try and get the next chapter out by the middle of next week hopefully. I also must say I really enjoyed writing this chapter. We've only got a few chapters left! Stay tuned! Till next time...**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I may reference belong to me.**

**A/N: I just wanted to say to everyone that it has been a wonderful ride writing this story for yours as well as my amusement. I didn't think the sequel would reach fifteen chapters but it has and now it has reached its end. I just wanted to thank everyone for their support in reading and reviewing. And on a side note their may be a future story for The shepster maybe Mass Playa 3? not sure at the moment but the ideas there and it wont go away. So once again thank you all!**

"So the council finally let you out huh? That's crap!" Joker said as he took a swig of his drink at the bar.

"By all means don't sound so happy to see me. After all I was cooped up for a friggin year in the Normandy!" Shepard said taking a swig of his as well.

Shepard was glad to be out of the Normandy at the moment. His wives were busy shopping with the children while he had disappeared for a much needed drink.

He turned to Garrus who was sitting on the stool across from him "You know I think with all this stress now I think my hair line is receding!" Shepard said rubbing his head.

"Wait... you had more hair than that?" Garrus asked slightly puzzled causing Joker to burst out laughing.

"Ha! HA! Laugh it up... speaking of which when is your little monster making an appearance Garrus?" Shepard said.

It was no secret now... hell it hadn't been a secret since that day that Tevos and Garrus were an item and apparently now she was carrying the offspring of said person right now.

"Should be about another five months before she's born" Garrus said scratching his fringe.

"Good luck with that..." Joker said holding us his glass and nodding before downing a shot.

"So hows you and Miranda?" Garrus asked smiling.

Joker let out a huge sigh "Were adopting... and getting married in a few months..." He said taking another shot.

While Shepard had to admit it was quite a surprise to see that The former operative and their pilot were together apparently they were getting married and adopting a kid was certainly a surprise.

"Well... um... congratulations my friend!" Shepard said clasping the man on his shoulder making him wince in pain "Oh sorry... I forgot" He said turning back to his drink.

"You know Shepard... when your daughters are teenagers any guy they want to date is going to be in for a lot of punishment" Garrus said taking a sip of his drink.

"Why do you say that?" Shepard asked raising an eyebrow.

"While I don't think they'll have to much trouble meeting Kelly... well except for the fact that she'll talk their ear to death" He paused as Joker choked on his drink while laughing " The other four may be a problem" Garrus said taking another swig.

Shepard turned to face the Turian. "What do you mean the other four may be a problem?"

Garrus clasped his talons together "Ok! First off... there's Samara who would kill anyone who cause her daughter harm or injustice... than there's Tali who would take a shotgun to the back of someones head that hurt her daughter... and finally there's Jack who would murder someone for looking at her daughter wrong"

Shepard cupped his chin and thought about it for a moment before agreeing with Garrus.

They were quiet for a moment before Joker turned to him "So... when you settling down?" The pilot asked.

Shepard was silent for a moment "Were looking into small colony right now... its nice and quiet there... Plus I get to build my own home which is good.. I think the kids will enjoy the freedom with all the space"

Garrus and Joker both nodded.

"So how long you got before you got to leave?" Joker asked taking a sip of his drink.

Shepard glanced at his omni-tool "Actually fella's I'm already running late for something I just hope..."

"Shepard! Where the hell have you been?" A voice said behind them.

All three turned to see Ashley storming towards them with a pissed off look on her face.

"Hey babe... what's up?" Shepard asked slightly buzzed but was wearing off quick thanks to his implants.

"BABE! What's up?... I'll tell you what's up you were supposed to be at the church 30 minutes ago... now shake your ass awake and lets go! I want to have a nice wedding!" Ashley said turning and heading off.

All three stared after her before Joker and Garrus turned to Shepard.

"Care to explain?" Both said in unison.

She tossed back the last of his drink before grabbing his jacket and sliding off the stool.

"Oh yeah I forgot... I'm also going to marry Ashley as well." Shepard said pulling on his jacket.

"Wait... five women weren't enough for you?" Garrus asked.

Shepard chuckled "Well I've already married five so I figured why the hell not I'll just throw in another one to make her happy so yeah I'm marrying Ash now as well... so if either one of you wants to be my best man you better bring your ass's on now!" He said turning from them.

Garrus and Joker looked at each other before hopping off the stool and heading after him.

**A/N: I originally wanted to do another few chapters but I realized that it would involve a huge time jump for what I was wanting to do. So I've decided that they may be a future mass playa 3 where the kids are now teenagers. I just want to thank everyone for their support.**

**This is SS3V signing off :D**


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